One of my once close friend's birthday is this weekend, so a few weeks ago I saw her online and asked her what she was doing and what she wanted for her birthday the reply was nothing and not sure respectively. I told her to give me an idea of what she wanted(I knew it should be entertaining) and of course the next day she sent me her wish list lol.
- a camera
- a new cell phone
- shoes
- a nice hand bag
- DVDs
- 2GB jump drive
- a book (she said if I got the book I needed to supplement it with something else.. like item 5)
I'm not downgrading her gift cause I'm
She couldn't go to the hair dresser every week, shop for clothes or whatever girls buy, etc.., she was broke as a joke. Being the prudential financial advisor I like to imagine myself to be I guided her throughout her hardships helping her manage her income/expenses/credit card debt and it was all good, her books were balanced and not in the negative. She eventually got a good job last year and claimed to be managing fine now that she had extra money, I stopped paying attention to her finances as she seemed to be getting by on her own with the better pay.
That was 1 year ago, she is now jobless as her 1 year contract ended Friday gone. My basic calculations of her take home salary tells me that she should have paid off her school fee(she was pursuing her MBA in finance.. the irony) and be in good financial standings over the last year, this is not the case though. Last month she called me asking for assistance in getting her DSL back up as it was disabled due to her outstanding bills. She asked me to log on to her bank account and pay the bills then contact the ISP to get the service reactivated, I obliged. Her bank's dashboard showed me a very empty savings account and two maxed out credit cards both of which had late payment fines with growing interest on the outstanding balances... wtf. I ignored and payed her bill and got the internet service reactivated and spared her the lecture on being responsible.
How is it possible that the girl dig herself into such a hole in such a short period of time? I washed my hands of her after her long distance BF came to visit her for three months and she refuses to see my points on how unhealthy there relationship is for her. She claimed she tried to break up with him 3 times in January after I spoke to her about it but he didn't accept it. He is now back in that other country probably with the other girl he lives with(just for sex and to assist him in getting citizenship according to him) over there and now she is here by herself engaged to get married to him next year... I kept my comments to myself.
In the weeks after looking at her bank accounts she called and I learned that not only did she have credit card debt but she also took out a loan and still have tuition outstanding. Not to point any fingers here but it is my assumption that her dilemma is also assisted by her bum of a fiance who is full of crackpot schemes. I am not being mean, I have never met the man, I am just repeating how I've heard her refer to him previously.
EDIT---
It seems I went off into a rant there for a bit.. all of the above was written on Friday, it's now Sunday and her birthday has passed lets just wrap up this post. I had to write about this because most of her list violated my gift giving policy for girls which clearly states not to buy something for a girl she can't afford herself, hence she got a birthday Hallmark card. Of course there are subclauses that allows for exceptions in cases where the girl is responsible but life deals them a bad hand and hence can get a nice expensive gift but this is not the case for my friend.
7 comments:
Such a sad state of affairs she is in. Some people just don't know what it means to live within their means.
The dangers of living the lavish life when you cant afford it... Hope she can pull a turn around for her self.
I like your theory on the value of present buying. I like to buy people things they could afford but would probably not prioritise above rent etc - little luxuries like spa days are good!
PS my birthday is in october... :-P
LMAO @ the edit...that was hilarious.
I agree with KG. I like your gift giving policy as well.
Your friend will have to learn the hard way...you can't teach someone who isn't willing to learn. Her mother is partly responsible for bailing her out and not teaching her good spending habits from the beginning but she's accountable as well. Some people let peer pressure and not knowing their own personal limits do them in.
Funny, however you did ask what she wanted...its just funny that she actually gave you list as opposed to the polite, nothing, response..
Also all the debt, perhaps she should be asking you to pay her phone bill rather than get a new cell phone.
Mba in finance, When I become cheif I am going to find some legal loop hole for finding peoples credit histories before they work for me...
she needs to hit rock bottom before she learns apparently.
I am glad the ladies on the blog here agree with my policy, if she ever decides to argue with what she got then I can point her here :p although that will probably create a new one heh
hahah, funny good policy but for the sense of completness what were items 8, 9 and 10 on the list?
Dese women and this thing they call love, crazyness I tell you
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