Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Two deadly Sins

Sloth and gluttony seemed to set the pace for me this holiday season. Aside from visiting my parents on Christmas day I went nowhere all holiday and just stayed home. If my home wasn't so entertaining to me I probably would have left it more often apart from my parents and the few times I walked over to the supermarket (5 minutes walk) to get more food to feed the gluttony. I was invited to several parties but rejected all, this is very unlike me. My friends tried to lure me to them with the promise of buffets of endless catered food but that didn't budge me one bit.

I felt perpetually sick all weekend long as I stuffed junk into my face and washed it down with Verdi Spumante, a cheap twist-top bottle wine I discovered in a fancy looking bottle to help conceal its tackiness. Throw Ham, crispy roast pork, pecan pie and yogurts into the mix and you should get the picture of my intake. I was proud of the fact that I gave away the cheesecake I had to one of my friends but I'm sure that good deed was offset by the amount of cheesecake flavored yogurt I consumed the day before. To help show the big picture of the gluttony I also had blueberry, pinacolada, guava and mango yogurt over the past weekend.

I felt the most guilty eating the crispy roast pork and beef in black bean sauce, two very nice Chinese dishes but they have heart disease and stroke written all over them. I got up this morning at 6:30am and took a jog to help undo the damage done over the past weekend though. I am out of shape, I haven't jogged in many months, I couldn't make my usual jog trail all the way through so I had to walk half of the way. I also noticed a bit of wheezing while jogging, the old age train has lost its brakes and its all down hill from here :-(

Friday, December 22, 2006


I was at the doctor the other day in the first waiting room, waiting to be processed. While waiting I noticed this hot young thing walking about the place in her stilettos and on her way back she stopped and asked if I was xyz. Apparently we met before at my sister's apartment but I didn't pay her much mind as she was my sister's friend (Lets call her Dr. Jane Smith for arguments sake).

The receptionist processed me and sent me to the second waiting room, she said I was to see Dr. Smith. I only knew this girl as Jane and not Dr. Smith so much to my surprise when I looked at the name on the door it was of course none other than my sister's friend.. My heart skipped a few beats as I realized that this doctors visit would involve her seeing my bits and pieces. I quickly got over it as I thought about her hotness or maybe it was the mind numbing wait as I sat in the waiting room.

I am not sure if it was the look of death by boredom on my face or what but when she came out of my office to call her next patient she called me instead, links baby! The other people who ahead of me didn't seem pleased with this turn of events but I was glad. I went in her office and we did our business and she gave me a clean bill of health.. I guess I am just paranoid. Jane was very friendly during our session and we had a bit of idle chat afterwards.

She would have made a good wifey, maybe destiny can throw her to me for 2007.. bruk pocket women are so 2004. I thought about the whole situation on my way home though. I realize that as the years go by and I meet more people I become more recognisable, its not the first time I've been to a doctor that knows me personally and definitely not the last.

The problem is that they recognize me and I have no clue who they are and these people stop me everywhere. Most times I just point blank tell them truth that their memory was banished to make space for what? I dunno. I used to see it happen to my father all the time but he would just continue the conversation on pretending like he remembers the people and we would all laugh about it later, I guess its genetic.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

And the silly season continues

New years eve, 11:30pm December 31st 2003, marked the night one of these government chi chi buses hit my car while I was stopped at a traffic light downtown. It seems as if this time of year brings out all the cars/buses/trucks on the Jamaican roads that have been hibernating all year. More cars on the road of course brings more accidents.

On my way back home today after having lunch at my parents house I passed an interesting three car accident. Wheels ripped off, bonnets crushed in, a girl standing beside one of the disabled cars like she name decoration and several men arguing (I'm assuming over who was wrong). One of the few things that hit home with that scene was that it could have been me. Ever since my last accident I have reviewed my past driving and have realized the folly in my old* ways.

I have had so many near misses with my car so I am now going to take it back a notch and drive like an old lady on a Sunday morning cruise when I get back my car, hopefully later this week. I know I can stick to it as I used to often break the speed limit until a police clocked me at 128 in a 80 zone two years ago and ever since then I've stuck to the speed signs. After that incident I counted my lucky stars as if the policed clocked me at 130+ I would have had a much heavier fine to pay and I was going at 160 before I noticed the police in the far distance and slowed down.

One of the other things that hit home was the girl standing up like is she name decoration heh. Nothing pisses me off more than broke ass girls that don't serve any purpose and just pose in my your front seat. When I can learn to do without them that will be one less crosses I will have to deal with messing up my front seat with their big foot/make up/food/nasty ass in general.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The end is near..

It seems as if my car/insurance company saga is almost over. I was in New Kingston last week doing some Redhat training and decided to pay my insurance company N.E.M. a visit to by pass all the BS my brokers feed me. They were really nice to me and my visit actually got something accomplished, repairs on my car got authorized that day so hopefully I can get it back before Christmas. Sadly, I took this picture the day before the accident. It is just a bunch of random things on my kitchen counter but captured my car keys and my beloved hydraulic jack (which I have yet to use after many months).

The end of the year is also upon us and yet again I am apartment hunting. My first lease was signed in December 2004 after many months of looking for the right place, December 2005 found me looking for a larger new apartment which I am currently happily living in and now December 2006 has me on the hunt again. Thankfully the pressure isn't on me as I am just helping out my friend. She is looking for a two bedroom apartment for herself and her mother with a somewhat limited budget.

She came over my house with her gleaner early this morning, made some calls and we were on the road. Out of all the calls she made, she only found two places within her budget and in her desired areas of town. The first place took us to a 1/2 house in Mona which was perfect for her as it was a 5 minute walk to UWI where her mother works. The place was acceptable and the landlady was this old (80+) Chinese lady who didn't know much english and reminded me very much of my mother. I told my friend that this was a good find and she should take it.

A small side story to this is that the old Chinese lady had a young girl, early twenties, as a friend living with her on the other side of the property. I asked the old lady what her name was and she couldn't remember, a very strange friendship indeed but they seemed to like each others company. I also wouldn't mind having this young fresh grad of UTECH as one of my friends too so I started talking to her while my friend was trying to finalize the deal. I didn't reach very far though before my friend came in on me and ruined my game, she came and asked for my assistance to finalize her lease on this place with the old lady so I had to leave Vanessa alone. At least I know her name, I left with 1 up on the old Chinese lady :-p

Anyway reality bitch slapped the taste out of my friend's mouth when the old Chinese lady rejected her as her new tenant for some other older lady that came after us. I didn't really expect her to close a lease on a place within the first hour of the first day she started looking for apartments but apparently she did as she was very disappointed and her mood changed completely after that place. Lets see what next week brings for her.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

What to give a man that has it all?

It is December 3rd and I have already been asked several times what I want for Christmas. This picture which I took at my old apartment last summer sums up what I want, to relax in a peaceful and quiet environment. By no means am I saying I have it all to answer the question in the subject, its just that I am quite content with everything I have. I am always at a lost when ever people ask me what I want, my usual response is world peace :-)

Here is my list in no particular order, any of the following will be a good gift.

  • A promotion at work.
  • A girlfriend, a good one that doesn't cheat.
  • A yatch (or some other boat to get me to Lime Cay)
  • My insurance company to fix my car in a reasonable amount of time.
  • My own property, I am tired of renting.
Thats pretty much it, good luck finding them, I treat myself pretty nice so my wish list is pretty empty except for those big items. There is another problem that arises at this time of the year, what should I get other people? I have always had problems thinking of something to get my parents as they have everything they want and I was just a poor child. This resulted in them getting something from me every couple of years whenever something popped into my mind. At the moment I am looking around online for something to buy for them, I think I know what would really make them happy this year.

Gifts for other people is another story, I know too many people to possibly give them all something, so I just pick one or two of my friends to get something for and go all out. I have noticed that my female friends seem put out there what they want from early and the majority of them request the same things, perfume and/or dildo. Perfume makes a pretty lame and played out gift in my opinion. I think I should offended that they would ask for a dildo too, apparently I am not doing anything for them :-p. I don't even want to know what some store clerk would think of me if I went to a shop and bought a big rubber buddy so I will avoid that situation completely.

One item on my list isn't too unattainable, the girlfriend :-). There is a chick at my office that is now the apple of my eye. This girl is completely opposite to the girls I normally talk to, she is a vegetarian, she is very religious, she covers her body and doesn't dress like a hoe(maybe I can fix this one for her). She is short and slim just how I like them normally though I can't tell how much assets she has as she keeps herself well covered at the office. One of the hurdles for me to get over is being younger than her, she doesn't want to tell me her age but the most she would tell me is that she has been working with the company for over 10 years. I hope she likes younger guys because that figure states she should be at least 28 years old. I think I have a chance, I think she flirts with me when I see her. I still frown on intra-office relationships but this girl would make me break my rules. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one.