Monday, March 19, 2007

Goodbye lover, hello friend.

Recently my friend threatened to steal my condoms and of course after she left my house there were none to be found. I asked her where they were and she said she took them so that I can't bump nasties with anybody until she brings them back.. now there is a foolproof plan. I later found them hidden under a pillow but this is just silly I should just stop such relations with her, cold turkey, as she is clearly confused.

This is a familiar fork in the road and the decision is hard especially when the girls have the goodies to make my toes curl. Local culture would state "dem have the glue to mek man stay" as I always kick myself after seeing some fine ass girls I've pushed to the curb previously. The problem is that these girls are not right, there is always a major problem that clashes with my requirements of a sustainable relationship. They may get A+ for body, A+ for looks, A+ for cleaning my apt, washing my clothes and cooking for me, but they fail horribly when they sign me up as Joe grind or claim to break up with their man when things start to get steamy with me.

I am glad I have enough sense not to stay or to grow those situations any further than some bump and grind. What is interesting though is that I am able to keep them as platonic friends after, though it would explain why it is hard for me to get some of my female friends to be civil to each other. The big question is do I end things with this condom hiding girl? She doesn't meet my requirements to be a girlfriend but her body is up to spec, I lose about 30 IQ points just looking at her and she does everything humanly possible to please me. This is definitely a road block on my road to finding wifey to settle down with.

12 comments:

taylor2nd said...

hmm i have one thing to say to you my friend.. you come from the blackness. a dark dark place. your are a dark mofo.. black as night cold as ice..

that out of the way.. being a guy i understand the loss of iq thing.. i got a couple of those women in my life that make you on the brink of losing sanity with what they can do to please you. its not healthy makes you do silly things. if she dont meet your requirements then dont settle. game over put in a different cd.

GC (God's Child) said...

speechless. I am speechless. Do you have any sisters?

Kingston Girl said...

From the sound of it, you deserve each other!

But seriously, get rid of her. No potential wifey is coming to come anywhere near you with her hanging around

Adrian said...

lol y'all bloggers always encourage me to chase/stay away from a lot of girls.. looks like I'm not supposed to have any fun..

@gc: ya I have a sister, why? :D

GC (God's Child) said...

if you have to ask, it's pointless me explaining.
no, let me explain
even if she's an only child--that girl is somebody's sister!
If you don't want her for your girlfriend, do her a favor and tell her to scram. The next guy she meets will thank you for creating less issues for him. And you would want someone to do the same for your sister. I hope.

owen said...

I feel your pain bro. I'm having my share of half-gfs rights. annoying as hell

Adrian said...

@GC: I wouldn't want anybody to do the same to my sister, but its not as bad as it seems.. before I start anything with these young ladies I tell them first that it will amount to nothing, if they agree and accept that then we good to go. I even go beyond the call of duty and remind them that they are just friends with benifits ever so often and suggest they leave me alone and go find a healthy relationship elsewhere.

they have been warned.

Crankyputz said...

Hey now this was a funny post.

I mean just by writting the post you already made up your mind....think you were just looking for creative ways to dump her behind.

Tell her your not ready for a Monogamous relationship right now....

NadYaDee said...

Tell her that you want to have a three-some with her and her friend, if she leaves then ure problem is solved, if she doesn't you get a free threesome...lol...all the best...

Adrian said...

lol nadyadee thanks for passing by, I used to love Daria back in the day.. I shed a tear.

re the threesome.. I've already pushed that argument to her, it didn't do a thing seeing as how she already had me labeled(wrongly) as a dog.

@crankyputz: im not really looking for a creative way of kicking her to the curb, I have no problem coming straight up saying this needs to stop. The problem is that these girls are too fine to let go and when I actually do let them go I tend rue over what I pushed to the curb. It's a lose lose situation.

gela said...

Well, actually, if the woman knows the deal, no harm, it's just that some girls will agree but it's still hard as hell to shake 'em.

Afterall, let's face it, the women want to have sex too, so they'll agree to be a fcuk buddy. Sometimes that's all they want, sometimes they want more and hope to use that to get closer.

smiling observer said...

I am surprised that the majority of GOOD comments came from women. but I understand this fact (that women are stupid and they just need men) because I understand psychology.
that is just the way the world is.
Clinton may do this and that and his wife still stands next to him. Swap the roles and I think they will only meet in the divorce attorney's office. but such is the world. the theory of one Cock, many hens. One teapot, many cups.
One lion, many lionesses.