Sunday, March 11, 2007

Friday happenings

After a mostly dull week at work last week my Friday was booked. Auditors from KPMG passed by and took up 4 hours of my time evaluating our data backup procedures for the data center.. I hope we weren't lacking much. Of course during the audit requests kept coming to poor me having to do the job of 3 people as the rest of my dept. had been off on training, I guess the universe was making up for all the time I wasted, all the days left early and I came in late earlier that week.

My attempts for leaving early on Friday were thwarted by a last minute request from the cayman office to transfer some files. I was hearing talk all day about these files.. I even got a few emails about them and how much they needed them but of course the actual useful information needed by me to give them the files weren't provided until 4:40pm when I am preparing to jet. By the time I left work (10 minutes later :) traffic was at a stand still. My normally 30 minute drive home became a 40 minute stop and go in bumper to bumper traffic to complete only 70% of my journey where a guy decides to run into my newly repainted bumper.

To be fair I switched lanes and was in front of him and shortly after the guy in front of me stopped to turn into the Texaco at the intersection of Old Hope road and Mountain View road so I stopped suddenly, my car stops on a dime, what I need to remember is that other peoples cars don't. Anyway I'm not sure what this guy was doing but he managed to swerve and he bumped into the back left corner of my bumper. We pulled over to the side of the road and he started arguing, it looked like he was even trying to insist I was wrong and I should have stayed in my lane. I kept it cool but I did raise my voice at him to keep him in his place as it seems he was trying to intimidate me. Of course he didn't want to pay for the damages and didn't surrender any insurance documents so I told him I wouldn't hesitate to report the hit and run to the police which was only 3 minutes up the road. In a big dramatic exit he threw his arms open and said "si mi license plate numba yah" I walked back to my car and wrote down what I saw, he jumped in his car and made a hastily get away.

As promised I stopped at the police station on the way home and now who ever owner of that car is has a bench warrant out on their head. I don't expect much to come of it but I am satisfied as the damage isn't much and if the police ever stops that car again and decides to do a check he will face some jail time. It's a slim chance but it does happen, one of my x-neighbours did tell me about his warrant and how he got to spend a night in jail for it. I didn't get a chance to take a picture of the damage nor the back before the accident so this will have to do. I took this picture the week before, so just imagine the back and one will see what I'm talking about ;)

Later on that night we went out to the strip club, 4 of us, wingman me and two girls. The girls have been hounding me to go to the club since they have never been before and wingman has been hounding me to go with them since he has never been to a strip club with girls before. I'm not sure what he was expecting but I am 101% sure he is disappointed now, at least I hooked him up with a VIP card so now he can get in free all the time without me. Going to the club, all guys is fun. He must have thought that throwing girls into the mix that he didn't know would get him some action.. lol silly rabbit. Taking a girl 1 on 1 with you to a strip club will yield interesting results though, hopefully one day he will learn that 4 is a crowd.

Its been a while since I've been to the strip club, I must say the dancers had my blood flowing.. all except one who I affectionately refereed to as Fatty. Everybody knows I absolutely love slim girls and all of the girls there were mostly that so I was quite happy until about 1 am two fat girls walked into the club in plain clothes only to appear a few minutes later in their costumes. These girls looked like they were pregnant with their 8th baby and in their 3rd trimester. I thought to myself its cool, I would just ignore them and that plan was working fine until Fatty who decided to take a hands on approach on getting tips. I saw fatty walk up to two guys and gave them a lap dance. I was shocked that the first lap dance I saw from the night was from her given she was at the bottom of the barrel compared to the other dancers. It all became clear to me when she came over to me and asked me for money, I replied with a firm no quickly as she was visibly scaring the girl I came with and she walked away as expected. This was not the case with everybody else though, for the rest of the night I watched as she walked around the club and forced herself on the patrons and they all gave her money.. every last one of them. Even wingman was a victim, she came up to him and started to wine upside down on her head in front of him and in the end I saw him give her $100. When I was teasing him after he said he gave her the money so she would leave him alone lol. It may be sad but it is true, I suspect all the other patrons gave her money to leave them alone.. I am proud she got nada out of me.


SimplEnigma said...

Here, IT was working till all hours of the night on Friday and Saturday since we set the clocks forward 3 weeks early this year, which created a nightmare especially for IT folks at financial/trading companies.

Be glad you got out when you did...a friend of mine worked until 4:30 AM Saturday morning.

LOL @ Fatty...big girls need love (and money) too...

Adrian said...

That DST shift wasn't really an issue with us down here in Jamaica since we don't take DST into consideration at all :)

I not trying to hate on anybody.. but Fatty needs to get the pink slip. I understand the need to cater to everyone and have all types of girls there but this one has her Ph.D. in mining for money and she was just plain nasty.

Teenage Perfectionist said...

Lol @ Fatty. Oh come on Adrian, doesnt lots of cellulite turn you on. Anyway. Im glad you had fun and sorry about your car. Later.

Mad Bull said...

Bwoy, you mean eeh? A money man like you should help poor fatty out, star! ;)

Kingston Girl said...

The poor woman was just trying to do the best she can! And I know of quite a few jamaican men who like that kind of woman - so the strip club is just trying to meet all mens needs!