Friday, November 30, 2007

on easy street

So I spent the last 4 days in Montego Bay "working". I have never really spent any time in Mobay before, I've only just driven through the town a few times before so I learnt a few things during my stay there.

  • Not to diss anyone but the food there sucks(well the restaurant at my hotel at least and in the town as well). It wasn't just me, I heard someone else from Kingston complaining about the food as well.
  • Traffic there is 10x worst than Kingston. The town is always in gridlock cars parked everywhere, a sea of people walking in the middle of the roads and everybody trying to fight their way through the stoplight/sign-less intersections(all 500 of them)
  • The local girls there are to die for. I drooled over the girls at work, I drooled over the girls on the road and I drooled over the girls at the hotel. How can any man get any work done over there? I think a few of them were checking me out too, it's a shame I wasn't staying long over there.

I'm not really a big fan of going out by myself so I didn't really do much while I was there. Since I was in a tourist town on the coast I had to go to the beach, so one day I left work at 1pm and went over to the Aquasol park for a swim alone. The "Theme Park" theme must have been boring beach, I never saw what the hype was.

I also went for a stroll on the hip strip alone one night. Every last local there thought I was a tourist, put on their fake accent and tried to talk to me. One lady and her friend tried to stop me to talk(for what reason I don't know). She asked where I was from, I muttered Kingston, she wasn't convinced I was Jamaican, she went on to cuss me for not stopping to talk and shouted that she knows my type as I walked on "you don't talk to people darker than yourself". All I could do was turn around to look at her in amazement and shake my head no as I walked off. Some other things I was approached to buy were: cold beer(top of the list), taxi, souvenir stuff, weed and special "massages" from girls at some club. I need to invest in one of these hats so that they would know that I am Jamaican in my original article outfit.

The North coast highway made most of the 4 hour drive home safe and uneventful. After I passed through Ocho Rios the twisty wet roads along with the single lane than JPS created while cutting down trees ruined somebody's day. The flagmen told us to stop, the man in front, me, the two cars behind all stopped, I heard a loud crash and saw lots of smoke.. some fool crashed into the back of last person. While looking in the rear view mirror still I see this taxi blazing down around the corner in the wrong lane and almost caused a head on collision with vehicles coming up.. damned fool. The next thing about 20 minutes down the road was a first for me, I was issued a traffic survey by the police. At first I saw some bright orange signs saying "Slow down", "Traffic Survey" and laughed to myself thinking they really meant the po-po were timing on that road, then as I turned the corner the police waved me down out of like 6 cars to stop. If I knew that it was really just a survey and they wanted to ask me questions about my journey I would have waved back and just gas it some more.. bastards.

11 comments:

GC said...

WTH is a traffic survey?

MoBay girls look good but they can't cook apparently. Neither can the boys.

Why is it that people always want to tell you that you are racist because of your skin tone? Doesn't that make them the racist?

Stunner said...

Boss yuh nuh have any space in your department so I can transfer? The only traveling I do for work is from home to work ad back!

I guess yuh look like a foreigner, did you get any accent when you were approached?

Nuh worry I get the same cussng fo my kin tone, just don't know what's up with some people!

Very good point GC!

Irie Diva said...

you can drool eeh...lawks sah

Melody said...

Not de typical review of MoBay that people usually post, an' informative thru that. Re goin' alone -- isn't that what makes Wingman de wingman...

Adrian said...

@gc: The traffic survey was just questions like where I was coming from, going to, my occupation, how often I traveled that route... etc.

@stunner: you better believe they put on the fake accent when they were talking to me :(

@diva: still waiting for you to post the pic

@melody: wingman only stayed a day in Jamaica, the last time I heard from him he was in Trinidad.. anyway I don't think I would have dragged any of my friends along for this trip since it was really meant for work.

Crankyputz said...

i went to MoBay a couple of years ago and I loved it...

Though I found the men to be crazy, everywhere i went they were there, knocking at my door at 4 am.....

I loved the waterfalls in ocho rios the best...

SimplEnigma said...

The funniest thing is you talking about Mobay like it's a whole 'nother country where they speak a different language. DWL.

The second funny thing is you getting a stoosh cussin. I can hear it now: "Yuh a one a di one dem whey gwaan like oonu betta dan everybody else, cause oonu have likkle color."

LMAO. I love my people...really, I do.

Adrian said...

@cranky.. lol yeah, jamaican men will track you down like dogs

@se: you's a mobay girl too?

Fiyah said...

I didn't realise how aggressive us yard me were in comparison with other guys till I came to school abroad. I still think its hilarious to watch a woman's facial expressions as one of my Jamaican friends chat her up on the street. lol

Mad Bull said...

Yeah, yow, Jamaican man dem nuh have no shame! Dem very very forward! Everytime a man "RUSH" Natty over yah, they turn out to be a Yardie, and the whole of them think say she is a Honduran or a Columbian.... whatever! :)

Adrian said...

Mobay is really easy street. I just found this very funny article online: read more here