Thursday, October 18, 2007

Truth and time tells all

How does one say goodbye to a friend? Noodle and I were best friends for a long time before we got together, she knew everything about me and she (supposedly)told me about everything current in her life as well. Somewhere along the way during the beginnings of our friendship she met a guy, who we shall refer to as Joe, who she dated for a bit while he visited the island occasionally. This was the only guy I felt she never did give me the whole story on but it was okay though, she was in no way obligated to tell me anything at that point in time.

As the months passed he faded to the background and she started sharing some of her untold stories about her rendezvous with Joe which only served to grow my trust for her as she opted to fill in the remaining blanks without me asking about him. Our friendship grew to the point where she started to pursue me as a boyfriend but I was hesitant as I knew the nitty gritty of her past and what she was capable of but she swore her loyalty to me. After a few months passed I felt sure her intentions were pure she was invited to exclusively enjoy all that my simple forest life had to offer.

We all know how her life in the forest ended and she was free to do anything she pleased. She insisted I misjudged her, apologized for taking what she had for granted and still pursued a relationship with me. Her persistence payed off and my nos slowly changed to yeses and we ended up getting back together again in Negril. Now to rewind a bit back to Joe, even though he was faded to the background they still communicated via phone, email and im but I never payed much attention to it as I accepted him as just one of her friends. A few weeks ago she called saying Joe was going to send her a ticket to go visit him and she gave me an acceptable reason #1 for wanting to go, I told her if she wanted to go she should.

At some other point in time she brought back up her trip again asking several times if I was sure it was ok for her to go, the first red flag pops up in my head now as she seems to be feeling guilty of something, I still give her the go ahead. After questioning her motives again acceptable reason #1 has morphed to shady reason #2, I point out to her the change I noticed and she gets upset saying she told me this already and reason #1 was just the pill she fed her family so they wont hassle her for going to visit her friend. of course more red flags. It is obvious to me that there is more here than she lets on but I left it alone to give her time to come clean on her own as she got upset whenever I asked her about it and blamed me for not listening.

As far as I was concerned noodle was exhibiting textbook cheating behaviours so I kicked back and observed, there is no point to start an argument with nothing hard to back it. When we came back to Kingston after our trip over the weekend she went to the pc as usual to check her emails and other things online but I noticed she only flashed her inbox for a second then ignored it the entire time I was close. I said nothing to her as the last time I asked her to show me something in her inbox she said she would show me later but when later came around all conversations were mysteriously deleted without a trace and she had no idea where they went. I went back on Monday night after she left to find the following email trail in her trash.

From: noodle
To: joe
Subject: Hon!

honey you got my mail right? i sent you the dates. when you have the time please reply or call. hope you are good and things going in your favour. miss you!
take care, Love you.
God bless, noodle


From: noodle
To: joe
Subject: Re: Hon!

will you be coming to Jamaica this weekend?

From: joe
To: noodle

No, I was thinking you would come up ...

From: noodle
To: joe

i would love to come up this weekend except my aunt paid for our weekend already. what about the 2 november?
Aside from changing the names for anonymity and clipping the conversation for brevity the emails are untouched. Now this weekend she speaks of was the weekend she just spent with me. It's nice to know that she tells other men I am her aunt. Aside from those deleted messages her trash was empty, I guess I was too late to catch anything else but lucky enough to find those. I then glanced over her inbox to find this other gem
From: noodle
To: joe
Subject: hello

hi joe!
i know you are always busy, which is why i asked for a weekend thats convenient to you. but here is some available times for me starting 9-11.11.2007 im free, so you make a decision.
i really do miss you, its feels like forever since ive last seen you. i wont go in details how much i miss you and what i miss mostly, we will resolve that when we are together.
take care, love you
God bless
wow.. I couldn't help but imagine what was said on the phone/in the messages she deleted and emptied from the trash and from the im chat which she explicitley turned off logging for Joe despite the fact she logs everybody elses conversations. I would love to see her explain this one, but I didn't say a word to her until I saw her online the following day. This post is already long and drawn out so I'll post her response later.


Jamaican Dawta said...

I don't know what else to say except 'I'm sorry.' :(

GC said...

know when to walk away, know when to run

Melody said...

I've been stalkin' your blog, but now must comment. Awright, stalkin' end, talkin' start: that foreigner, him last name is Grind? Sounds like someone de world heard about a'ready. MayB if U & Noo revert to platonic friendship, it might prevent further heartbreak. Hush. Never mind.

Adrian said...

lol yes melody Joe would be Joe Grind aka Jody

A platonic friendship? my method to prevent further heartbreak is excommunication. I am still friends with most girls I've had relations with but none has ever betrayed my trust like this before... especially not a gf which I held in such high esteem

Anonymous said...

I chose to remain anonymous for a reason but I have walked in your shoes, bro. I know I was hurt but... c'est la vie.
I was glad when I read about your Negril weekend and getting back together and now this.
Its there in black and white so your options are pretty simple.

marangand said...

Bwoy dri...As GC says...You have to know when to walk away ad i had written elsewhere before....and i will say to you...
Don't let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs..

There are many more noddles in the soup.....

(Although...i am not really down with checking in on other peoples mail.., you can always tell when something isn't right...your gut feelings not usually wrong)

Crankyputz said...

(Giving you a big hug.)

Not sure what makes people act so shaddy, I don't if its some dark twisty thing in them or if its just that they just don't know how to be loved.

Either way you can't teach it or fix it.

Mad Bull said...

I not into checking ppl's emails either but when you getting clear signals like that you would be a fool not to.
My yute, sometimes it ruff. You need to tell her to "get to steppin'", as Martin Lawrence would say.
Sorry to hear though.

Bobby said...

Ok Ok .... my "GOOD", was all i said for the negril post now i say "GO"... this is bigger than me

owen said...

but those emails could still be harmless chatter

drama, drama, drama, I really don't know how you do it. relationships suck man better stay on the edges of the forest

you could still be paranoid and jumping the gun - if she says there is no way the would get back together. the mind plays tricks but what is excuse number 1?

Ann (MobayDP) said...

Good grief! What a mess this all is! least you were well rested going into all this! :o/

Stunner said...

This should be interesting. I won't tell what to do, but the signs look obvious.

Anonymous said...

When a man shows a woman respect and it's not appreciated, it usually results in a hardened man. I hope you know there are many women out there who are ready to be held in high esteem. Noodle maybe just not there yet....All the best to Noodle too. Don't let this change how you would treat a woman you "rate"!! I don't have to tell you the sea is yours - LOL. Seriously though....keep being a gentleman - it's worth it for the woman you'll find....soon! :)

I'm also anonymous for a reason....

Dutch Pot said...

Too many signs (evidence?) in quick succession. A higher power is trying to tell you to listen to your intuition....go fishing!!

Noodle good up good up man!! LOL But you must know you too can call any tune - ya gots credentials so you certainly don't have to settle or share!! :) That is.. if there ain't a perfectly SPLENDIFEROUS EXPLANATION from Noodle!!!!

Irie Diva said...

that sux! i agree with that last anonymous comment...hope it doesnt harden u too much

Adrian said...

what is with these anonymous people? are they supposed to be people I know? One can't help but put up walls after such events but I don't think it will affect future relationships if they hang around long enough to get beyond the walls.

@owen: jumping the gun? lol you would have to be the odd one out.

Fiyah said...

Been there myself Adrian. Only difference is I didn't follow up on my initial intuition. Sometimes you have to give up on trust and sail with suspicion.

The conversations could be just chatter as someone else said... but harmless? I doubt it. There is a reason she is telling him one thing and you another.

Good luck with however you choose to handle this one.

Crankyputz said...

seems like annon is getting in line...

see when God closes a door, he opens a pop up window...

jamsprint said...

So Adrian, I guess this is stale news by now and in fact I had read this entry the day/night you had posted it but I think I was a lil' under the weather because I totally misunderstood the whole scenario.
I'm sorry to hear about everything, excuse my french but bitches get triffling... Dats some real sh!t though... you prolly had mixed feelings seeing those emails, vindication for your suspicions with a strong dose of betrayal burning in your heart chambers.
Sorry to hear though...
Mi vex..

MrsYFA said...

Man, I feel your pain..been in your shoes and it wasn't fun...stay strong and you'll eventually overcome it and be better because of it.

gela said...

what!!! OMG!! Jeez, why would she do something like that? I'm so sorry Adrian. *big hug*